Watching Memories Depart
by Lady Anatui
Summary: Sequel to Tonight, RemusOC. Years later, Mae’s thoughts are still back in Hogwarts, but the letters have stopped. What is happening in Europe that has had this much of an impact on her life?
1. Just One More Day

**Chapter 1 – Just One More Day**

Mae Yokozuna stood at the shrines of her parents. Her father had just passed away in a fire a month before. The funeral and all the papers were finally over. She was free. But she was alone. Would anyone even miss her if she suddenly disappeared? She doubted it.

The letters had stopped. It had been nearly a year since the last had come. Remus had told her that he couldn't love her and that he was sorry. He had never even come to visit her. Lily and Miranda had, but there had been tension. After Remus's letters stopped, so did everyone else's. Sirius had been the only one to give a reply to her desperate letters when she was still trying to keep in contact. It hadn't helped—it hadn't even explained what was going on. She hadn't felt any relief.

But she didn't feel much of anything anymore. She didn't feel hurt. She knew she should be in pain, because she had loved him. But he had moved on, so she wasn't sure that she loved him anymore. She was just numb. The numbness just wouldn't go away either. She wasn't sure she wanted it to go, though. She didn't _want_ to be in pain.

Mae left a small branch of cherry blossoms on each grave and walked away through the rows of headstones. She just wanted to get away from them. She had enough pain in her life. She didn't want to remember her parents as they were just then—just corpses left behind in their wake.

There was nowhere she could go now. She had sold the house, and she didn't want to live in Japan with her grandparents. Then again, she didn't want to move to China to see her mother's family. She hadn't seen them in years. She didn't want to be reminded.

What she really wanted was answers. She had so many questions, but no one in the Orient would help her. Several had tried—her grandparents and her best friend. Hiro was the only thing there that didn't remind her of her parents. She was thankful for that.

Hiroshi Nagamiri. Lily and Miranda had met him when they had visited. He had been a gentleman, even if he didn't speak very much English. But she herself had only just learned it a year before they had moved to London that autumn.

Mae left the cemetery feeling just as hopeless and helpless as when she had come. With a sigh, she slid into the vehicle to hear the blaring stereo.

As if commanded, Hiro pressed a button, and all was silent. But only for a while. "Feel any better?" he asked apprehensively, speaking in their common language, Japanese.

She gave off a hollow laugh and answered in the same language. "Better than a month ago? Yes, definitely. Than this morning? No."

"Then why did we come here?"

"I wanted to say goodbye before I left."

"You're leaving?"

"Yes."

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know."

"You're going to _him_, aren't you?"

"Remus?"

"Yes, the British one."

"I don't know."

"When do you leave? How much time do I have left with you?"

"Just one more day."

"Then, you're gone forever?"

"Maybe. I don't know."

They sat in silence for nearly ten minutes.

"You miss them all, don't you?"

"I do."

"But him the most?"

"Of course."

"Then, go to them."

"They spurned me."

"Haven't you heard there's a war going on in Europe?"

"I know about Voldemort."

"It makes sense, then, why they did."

"How?"

"They don't want you to get hurt."

"That's stupid, though. I can't be happy without him—not even happy to be alive."

"He thinks you'll get over him."

"He can't believe that."

"I think he does."

"Can I sleep at your house tonight?"

"Yes, of course," said Hiro. He turned the key and the engine roared.

They reached Hiro's house fifteen minutes later and went into the beautiful oriental cottage. Mae slept in his bed while he slept on the floor. He didn't mind, as the difference was minimal.

She couldn't help but think of Remus then. It was night when she really missed him. She didn't cry anymore, though. She had at first, but she had quickly gotten over it.

Was he all right? There was a war going on there. Was he even alive anymore? Would Sirius or Lily have sent word if he had died? She wasn't so sure, but she thought Sirius would.

She had wandered the dark streets when she and her father had returned. How many nights she had done that, she didn't know. That was how she had met Hiro. He had helped her relax into a more normal world.

And to think she was leaving him the next day. She didn't want to leave her best friend, but she couldn't stay in Japan. She had nothing there—except Hiro.

Just one more day and she would be making her way across the world. She didn't know her destination, but she would figure it out. She had to go somewhere else. Perhaps America? Perhaps Spain? Perhaps Wales? The destination didn't matter whenever she compared it to the place she was at now.

She loved being with Hiro and everything that went with that, but she couldn't stay in Japan. Japan was her enemy. Japan hated her. Japan had made everything go wrong. If she and her father had stayed in Great Britain, would he still be alive? Would she and Remus still be in love? Would Lily and Sirius and Miranda and James and Peter—would they still be her friends? Would things be different?

Well, she certainly knew that things would have been different. She was positive of that. But would Remus have told her that he couldn't love her if she was already in the war with him? Would he not be afraid of what he was? Would he still love her?

If she went to England again, would he love her again? Would she get her friends back? Would she have a chance to live the life she wanted to live? Maybe she should test the theory. Would it really make much of a difference, though? If he still spurned her, she had already dealt with that pain. She might be able to survive it. Or maybe she would be able to have peace. Either way, she'd go back.

Just one more day and she'd be gone. One more day and she would be going back to England to confront the man she had thought she had loved and those she had thought were her friends. Just one more day.


	2. Three and a Half Gone

**Chapter 2 – Three and a Half Gone**

Mae and Hiro stood alone in the solemn rain at the Tokyo airport. Her plane was boarding, but he didn't want to let her go. She could tell. She didn't want to leave him behind, but she had to go. She needed to see them again.

"I'll come back," she promised. "Unless I die before I do, I'll come back. It might not be for very long, but I _will_ come back."

He laughed. "I get it. I understand. Now speak English with your British friends."

"Do you really think they'll be my friends? I'm afraid they won't want to be my friends anymore."

"If they're good friends, they will. But no matter what happens between you and these people, I'll be here for you."

"Thank you, Hiro. I'll miss you." She hugged him tightly before heading to the plane.

Not very long later, she was in the air, watching as Japan drifted away behind her. She wouldn't miss the islands—only Hiro. But she could live with that as long as she could see Remus again.

Mae fell asleep forty minutes into the flight and slept the rest of the way. It wasn't until the landing that she awoke.

London hadn't changed much in the past three and a half years. And, oh, how she had missed it dearly! The years had passed so slowly, and she had been afraid that everything would be different like how everything was different with her. But it was almost the same. It was a great relief just knowing that.

And, then, all of a sudden, she didn't know what she was supposed to do. She didn't have anywhere to go. There was no magical place she knew of other than Hogwarts and Hogsmeade. She had never had time to explore the wizarding community nor Muggle London. And now she didn't know where to go or where she could find Remus or any of the others.

But she had heard of a place called Diagon Alley, so, as soon as she reached a place from which she could safely Apparate, she did. She, then, found herself in the middle of a golden-paved street. Few people were there, but several parents were buying their children's school supplies, too scared to allow them into such an open and possibly dangerous place.

Mae was able to ask the kind owner of a bookshop for a place at which she might be able to stay. He directed her to a pub called the Leaky Cauldron, which also offered rooms. She found it, though with difficult, and she rented a room before going back down and ordering dinner. She went to bed not long after that.

Not knowing where else to start, Mae entered Diagon Alley the next day. Although it should have been the busiest time of the day, there were very few people in the marketplace. Everything seemed sad and lonely there, but she was hesitant to leave when she could run into someone she knew.

It wasn't until dusk that someone familiar caught her eye. She barely caught a glimpse of him before he slipped into an even darker alleyway. His face was familiar, but she still could not place him. He had a strange look about him that was completely unfamiliar. Thus, she hesitated to call out to him.

Instead, she followed him into the dark alley. As she passed the sign, she looked up to see she was entering Knockturn Alley. She had heard Sirius speak of it before. He had been taken there when he was younger, and he explained that it was a place for Dark wizards and the Dark Arts. He had always hated it there.

Mae saw the receding figure stop in the pale light emitted from a nearby streetlamp. Finally, she could tell who he was. From the way he walked to the way he nervously glanced to and fro, she knew it was Peter Pettigrew.

But why was Peter in a place for the Dark Arts, and why was he so damn nervous?! He couldn't possibly be doing anything wicked—she was sure of that. He wasn't that sort of person.

Just before she could call out to him, he was suddenly surrounded by some fifteen masked men in black cloaks. She pulled back, confused and scared. She hid behind several boxes beside a dark store and watched, though she couldn't hear the words exchanged.

Peter cowered under the leader's gaze. She was afraid he would die if she didn't do anything.

Whipping out her wand, Mae thought of the best spell to take out a group of people. After a moment of thought, she spouted out the first spell she could get a grasp on. A large red light burst from the end of her wand, and all the men before her, including Peter, were stunned. She rushed over to her friend's side and awakened him with a simple "_Enervate_."

Peter snapped up as he awoke, almost hitting his head against hers. He looked at her in awe. "Mae?" he asked, surprise and awe evident in his voice.

"You're going to tell me about this, aren't you?" she asked him as she helped him to his feet.

"Yeah, of course. But we have to get out of here. They'll kill us, I'm sure."

"Are they… are they Voldemort's army?"

He cringed at the name. "They are. Death Eaters."

"Then, let's get out of here." She started to lead him away, but hesitated. "I have no idea where to go," she admitted. "I just got here yesterday afternoon. I don't know anything about this place. I barely left Hogwarts before, and that was three and a half years ago."

He gave her his hand. "Apparate at my side. I know where to go. We need to find Sirius and Remus." He glanced up at her apprehensively. "Although, I don't think that Remus will be too happy to see you."

Her face hardened, but she took his hand nevertheless. And soon she felt that same strange feeling and her scenery began to change.


	3. Suspicions

**Chapter 3 – Suspicions**

Where Mae and Peter landed, the scenery had barely changed. Again, they were in a dark, grimy alleyway, but this one was empty. She looked around confused as he tried to lead her away.

"Come on," he said quietly. "This way."

"Where are we?" asked Mae.

He hushed her and led her on.

Soon, they stood before a large empty lot. Peter murmured a quick phrase and something suddenly appeared before their eyes. A stairwell led down into the ground, and they slowly made their way down into almost utter darkness.

As the night sky disappeared overhead with the closing of the gateway to the outside, a light came into view below. It was a beautiful orange glow that they saw at the bottom and walked towards.

Someone came into view when they stepped off the last step. It was a man with fluffy black hair and a stern, handsome face. She recognized him immediately. It was Sirius.

She didn't even give him enough time to notice it was her. She leaped to him and engulfed him in her arms. "Sirius, I missed you so much," she exclaimed.

Sirius glanced down at her in confusion, but then he understood. He physically relaxed and hugged her back. It was obvious he had missed her. "You shouldn't be here, Mae," he said when she finally pulled away.

She shook her head almost angrily. "That's the problem. I should have been here a long time ago." She sent him a glare. "Besides, I want to know what's going on here. Why did you all stop writing to me?"

He stepped back toward a small table that she finally noticed in the firelight. "You wouldn't understand."

"Make me understand, then!"

"Remus went to St. Mungo's," explained Peter from behind her. "He almost died."

Sirius sent him a dangerous look. "Let's sit down."

He, Mae, and Peter sat around the table on old, creaking chairs. They watched each other for almost five minutes. Then, Sirius finally spoke.

"When the letters stopped," he explained, "it was because Remus got hit with the Cruciatus Curse a few too many times… and a couple other curses as well. He was a bit delirious like Frank and Alice. No one thought to write you.

"Almost a month later, he was released, but we all had to check up on him. He stayed with Lily and James for the first wee, but he left when it was time for the full moon.

"As soon as he woke up from his slumber after his transformations, he thought of you. He asked if any of us had contacted you since the incident, and, when we answered no, he said, 'Good.'

"He didn't want to contact you for some reason. We didn't understand. It just didn't make sense. It didn't coincide with what he had said a little while before he had been attacked."

"Do you know now? Why did he do it?" she pressed.

"We don't _know_, but we have ideas."

She glanced between the two expectantly.

It was Peter that answered. "We think that he's afraid he'll die. If he dies in this war, he wouldn't be able to protect you. He doesn't want to hurt you."

"So he pushes me away?!" she exclaimed furiously. "Well, it's not working!"

Sirius let out a short bark of laughter. "Obviously."

"Where is he? I want to see him. And Lily and James. And Miranda."

"Lily and James have gone into hiding," said Sirius. "Voldemort's after them. They haven't gone through with the spell yet, but it'll be soon."

"And Remus and Miranda?"

"We haven't seen Remus for a couple days. He's been acting strange ever since he was attacked," Peter replied.

"What do you mean by _strange_?"

"Well, sending that last letter to you for one."

Sirius nodded in affirmation. "And he's missed several meetings."

"Meetings of what? What are you two hiding from me?" she demanded.

"We think his brain has been somewhat scrambled from the curse," explained Peter. "That or he might be under the Imperius Curse—or maybe not."

She gasped. "You actually think that he could be working for Voldemort? Don't deny it. I could tell by the tone in your voice. Both of you do, don't you?!"

"There's someone leaking knowledge to Voldemort," Sirius said quietly.

"So it has to be Remus? He's one of your best friends. He could never kill any of you. He loves you all, I know."

"It was a long time ago that you actually knew him," he snapped almost coldly.

Mae pursed her lips angrily. "Well, I love him, and that's what really matters—especially if you're going to be an ass about it all," she said, getting to her feet. "Now, where does Remus live? I'll wait for him until he returns if I have to."

Peter decided that he had better separate the two before she yelled at them both, so he offered his services to her. They Apparated together to Remus's dark and lonely apartment, and then Peter left her there so that she could make herself at home while she waited. He also gave her an address at which she could contact both him and Sirius. She thanked him for it, and then he was gone.

Mae fell asleep on Remus's bed that night, eager for her love to return to her and confused as to his disappearance. She just wanted to be with him again, away from the horrors of war and suspicion. She loved him, and she knew that he had loved her… but did he still? She was too scared to try to decide that.


	4. Searching for Her

**Chapter 4 – Searching for Her**

It was early morning when Remus's plan landed. Sullenly, he exited and searched for a way to find her. He left the airport and somehow found a large phonebook. But when he tried to find her name in it, he discovered it was all written in Japanese. He had no idea where he could find her with that thing.

It was a good thing that Lily and Miranda had visited her. Miranda had given him directions to her house written on an index card, so that he could reach her as quickly as possible. He didn't want to lose her again.

Her house was beautiful, surrounded by a clump of cherry trees in full bloom and a pond full of lotus flowers. But what most caught his attention was a sign that said, '_SOLD!_' in small black lettering and then larger in Japanese.

He stopped, frozen, unable to move, as soon as he saw that sign. "Mae?" he finally called cautiously. He didn't want to believe she had gone.

There was a sound from inside the house, and the door opened to reveal a couple and another man. All three were Japanese, and he had a sickening feeling in his stomach that none of them spoke English one bit.

"Hello?" he called hesitantly. He had to at least try. "I'm looking for Mae Yokozuna."

Recognition dawned on the face of the single man, and he spouted a phrase that Remus did not understand—but he did hear Mae's name in that sentence. And then he said, "Remus Lupin."

Remus's head shot up to look at the man carefully. He nodded vigorously to say that he was indeed Remus Lupin.

With a large smile, the man came out to greet him and bowed, more Japanese words coming out of his mouth. When he stood erect, he pointed to himself and said, "Hiro Nagamiri." After a few more attempts at communication, he called over to the woman to aid him.

She translated for him, having learned English when she was young. "He says that Mae Yokozuna, the previous owner of this house, left Japan a couple days ago after her father died. Hiro is her best friend. He does not know where she went, but her connecting flight was in Beijing. He believes that she was going to see you."

"Thank you," he said. "I will forever be indebted to the both of you."

As he turned to head back to the airport, the girl called out again. "Wait!" she said, holding a hand up in the air as if to stop him with it alone. "He wants to go with you!"

Remus turned back. "He can't even speak the same language as me," he said confusedly.

After a moment of quiet translation, she turned to him again and spoke, "He misses Mae."

An hour later, he and Hiro had reached the airport and were heading to their flight. They did not get to sit together because they had purchases the tickets at their arrival. They waited an hour in Beijing before their connecting flight was ready to board. Then, they continued on their way toward London and Mae.

Remus could hardly believe that she had been there during the time that he was still considering staying. He hadn't seen any of the Marauders or Lily or Miranda since three days before he had actually left Britain. He just didn't realize that she was trying to find him when he was trying to find himself.

He had lost himself for a while there. After the incident with the Cruciatus Curse, he had felt very strange. He had been out of it. He hadn't completely understood what was going on. He had lost track of the world around him.

But his transformations had changed that. With the pain and the anger and the sorrow, he slowly began to grow back to himself. And he finally realized the part of him that was missing. It was away in Japan. He realized that Mae had been the thing missing in his life since he had woken up after the incident.

Immediately, he wanted to talk to her, but he also didn't want to hurt her. He knew that he was probably going to die while fighting against Voldemort. If anything were to happen to him, what would she think? If they were still in love when it happened, would she be able to be herself? Would she be able to move on after his death?

He knew that she wouldn't accept it as the answer, so he told her that he didn't love her anymore. He had lied horribly. He had done it out of love, but he had done a horrible thing. He loved her more than life itself, and yet he had pushed her away.

He let that thought tear at him for a while, the claws digging into his heart and his mind. He knew that he had made a mistake, and yet he couldn't go back and change it all. He didn't want to cause her more pain. Would she be angry if she found out that he had lied? Or would she be happy that he still loved her? Had she already moved on?

It took a long time for him to decide that he had to find out. He had to see if she was all right, because he had a feeling that she wasn't. He knew that he still loved her and he always would. He had to find her and see her again. He couldn't live without her while knowing she still lived.

So he had left, hesitant for several days before he finally did leave London. He had to find her.

And he still had to find her.

She had to find him as well. She must have still loved him if that were the case. Or was she going there to scream at him and tell him that she hated him for all the pain he had caused her? Well, he would just have to go to find out.

He was searching for her. He loved her. He had to find her. She was his everything.


	5. Promise to Stay by My Side

**Chapter 5 – Promise to Stay by My Side**

Mae woke upon Remus's bed the next morning with tears stained on her face. She rolled over on her side to look at the empty space beside her. She had never expected to sleep in _his_ bed, but it was even worse because he wasn't with her.

It had been two days and she didn't really expect him to return anymore, so she didn't feel at all awkward whilst walking around the apartment in her undergarments.

She was searching for some type of breakfast when she heard the door opening. She yelped in surprise and rushed to his bedroom. She slipped into the closest thing she could find, his flannel robe, and returned to the kitchen.

Standing before her were two of her favorite people in the world. Remus looked at her in confusion whilst Hiro grinned and greeted her in Japanese. She exchanged a few words with him before he left to explore the apartment and give the two of them the space they desired.

Mae moved to his miniscule table and sat down. He followed suit, still not uttering a word.

For a moment, they sat in absolute silence.

"I missed you," he said quietly, reaching his hand across the table to hold hers.

She pulled hers farther away. "Why did you stop writing, then?" she asked coldly.

"It was stupid. I thought I could protect you from the horrors of the war. I was wrong, and, when I realized that, I went to find you. But you had already gone."

"And you brought Hiro with you?"

"He wanted to come."

She smiled and said, "You really did miss me?"

"Of course I did," he said and took her hand lovingly in his.

Mae clung to his hand as if her life depended upon it. "You scared me, I hope you know that," she said.

"I'm so sorry."

"I missed you just as much, Remus—if not more so."

"I won't ever leave you again! I promise."

"I'll never leave you either," she said, her eyes growing wet and hazy.

Despite the table, Remus pulled her into his arms and held her tight. "I don't ever want to let you go," and he touched his lips to hers.

The kiss was even better than she remembered, and, as her tears overflowed and fell down her cheeks, she realized how much she had _actually_ missed him. She wiped away her tears as she pulled away.

And she was ready to begin a more urgent conversation. "Sirius and Peter think you're working with Voldemort," she said, her voice stronger than it previously was.

"What?" he asked, eyes wide, suddenly alarmed.

"With your disappearance and the strange behavior, what did you expect them to think?"

He nodded sadly. "They're going to perform the Fidelius Charm to protect James and Lily. Sirius is going to be their Secret-Keeper."

"What are you getting at?"

"Perhaps… perhaps—oh it hurts to say this, but perhaps Sirius is the leak."

"That's ridiculous! Both you and he are so ridiculous. You're best friends. How can you even think that one of you could be the leak?!"

"Things have changed since you were here," he said.

"You know, that's the same thing Sirius told me. That's his excuse for thinking you the leak. What is with you people and mistrust? How can you not believe in each other so much?

"I have been gone for a long time. But how is that my fault? You are the one that stopped writing. You got everyone else to stop writing, too. I've barely seen anyone here, and you're all already blaming each other for something none of you—probably—did! It's pathetic!"

"I know it is. We have no real excuse. It'd be silly for me to sit here and try to make up one. I just don't know if I can trust them anymore. I want to trust them, but I don't know if it's the right thing to do."

"I want to see Lily and James," said Mae, looking him in the eye. "Do you know where I can reach them? Before the Fidelius Charm is placed preferably. I want them to know I'm here. I've missed them as well."

"Talk to Peter about it. He probably knows a way."

"Thanks. I know a way to reach Peter. He gave me one. But I want you to come with me. I want us all to get together. You, me, Sirius, Peter, Lily and James, Miranda—all of us."

Remus sent her a wary look before saying, "Sirius and Peter didn't tell you, then?"

"Tell me what?"

"Miranda's dead. She was killed by a Death Eater a couple months ago. The Dark Mark was hanging in the sky above her small cottage in the country, the one that her parents gave her. Lily found her, and James later found _her_ sobbing of Miranda's body."

"Dead?" she murmured.

"This is what I wanted to protect you from. This is what I didn't want to know."

"Well, I know, so get over it," she snapped.

"I'm sorry."

"I'd like to see her grave," she said quietly. "I'd like to say a proper goodbye."

"I'll go with you."

"My dad died, did you know that?" asked Mae.

"Hiro said something about it. Well, technically the translator did."

"He was buried beside my mother. I miss them so much."

"There are a lot of people to miss these days. I wanted to shield that from you as much as possible, and I failed. Even if you didn't come back here, you'd still miss everyone, so what was the point of even blocking you out?"

She laughed mirthlessly. "My thoughts exactly." She took a deep breath. "I love you, Remus. I just want you to know that. I never really told you before. I didn't realize until just recently. Just as I was leaving Japan. I'm in love with you, and I always have been—and I always will be."

"I'll always be right here by your side. I love you, too."


	6. Wonder 'Bout

**Chapter 6 – Wonder 'Bout**

Miranda's grave was underneath a large, dying willow tree. The blossoms on the tree were the only sign of life, and those, too, were dying.

Mae squatted down beside the headstone and said, "Oh, Miranda. I never really got to know you. I'm sorry that I left. Please forgive me."

"She wasn't angry," Remus tried to console. "She was probably the least upset. It wasn't because she didn't care. She just believed you would return so fully. The rest of us doubted. She wasn't angry."

"Goodbye, Miranda," she said one last time, and, then, she got to her feet and turned away, no longer strong enough to continue to look without shedding tears.

He took her hand to comfort her as they walked out of the graveyard. "She wouldn't want us to dwell on her memory. But we must remember her."

Mae nodded.

After several minutes of silence, she finally broke it.

"Remus, do you ever wonder about what it would be like now if things hadn't happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"If my mother hadn't died of tuberculosis, we wouldn't have moved here four years ago. Would I have ever met you? Or would I have even met Hiro, despite the fact that we lived in the same country? I doubt it. I don't think it would have happened.

"And, if Miranda hadn't apologized to Lily at the funeral, would she still be alive? Even if she were, would any of us care?"

He sighed. "I don't know. There are just so many things that would be different. Far too many to count properly."

"I know. It's a scary thought, isn't it?"

"Very scary."

"I don't really like how things are right now, but I don't want to change anything. Everything would be so different if certain things had never happened. We wouldn't be the same people we are today.

"But still… it wouldn't be right if we just did it all without even thinking. We have to set time aside for when we can just sit and consider life. It wouldn't _be_ life if we just ignored the paths we could have taken to get somewhere else."

"For instance," said Remus, pulling her a little closer as they came to a stop at the cemetery gates, "if you had agreed to go out with Sirius, I think I would have given up on you."

"And Sirius would have continued to live in the illusion that he really did like me in that way."

"Maybe you two would have gotten married."

"Maybe. But that's all the wondering is—just a bunch of maybes and possibilities."

"Que sera sera," he smiled. "What will be, will be."

"Despite all the horrible things, I do like the world. I have wonderful friends and a very handsome boyfriend. I _can_ survive in a war."

"Maybe I can't. What if one of us were to die? I don't know what I'd do without you."

"The one left would be extremely sad and then carry on with their life. While we should wonder about what could have happened, we can't forget about the things that are happening now, and, like you said, we shouldn't dwell on the past. It matters; it shapes our lives. But we shouldn't ignore the future. You can't protect me from this war."

"I know, but can you blame me for trying?"

"Of course not. If I could, I'd protect everyone I love from certain death. But I just can't. Humans don't have those kinds of powers—well, few do."

He kissed her. "With you here, I do feel like we really can make it through this war."

"I know."

They held each other in silence for several minutes until they finally departed from the cemetery.

Peter, Sirius, and Remus took Mae in silence to Lily and James's house. No one spoke, but a dark storm of mistrust followed them as they went. If it had not been for Mae's presence there, they probably would have torn each other to shreds.

Lily and James lived in a lovely cottage in Godric's Hollow, and, as soon as the four entered that cottage, the mood was improved tenfold.

Sirius pushed his way in first and pulled the bundle James had been holding into his arms. "Thank goodness you were able to survive without me," he said to the bundle.

Mae approached him curiously, dropping Remus's hand, and glanced into his arms. "What is that?" she asked incredulously, even though she already knew. She glanced up at Lily and James questioningly.

With a sheepish smile and shrug, Lily moved toward Sirius to take her sleeping baby away. "Sirius, we just got him to sleep. You know he's been fussy all day."

"Well, that's not my fault," he said, pulling away from her.

"It is your fault if he wakes up, though," she responded sternly and held her arms out expectantly.

Sirius pouted childishly but relinquished his hold on the baby nonetheless.

"If anyone's the baby around here," began James, "it's you."

"And you're just mean," he whined.

"And you complain too much for your own good."

Mae sadly watched her friends bicker goodheartedly.

Lily and James were married and had a baby already. Sirius was acting like such a fatherly figure, even if he wasn't really the father of the child—it was a side to him she greatly enjoyed. Remus and Sirius were suspicious of each other. Peter was getting attacked by Death Eaters—hell, they all were.

All the changes—of the relationships and the war—scared her. She hated to think that she had missed three and a half years of their lives, but she knew it to be true. And, if she hadn't come back, she would have missed all of this.

"Would you like to hold him, Mae?" Lily asked kindly.

She hesitated a moment, scared that she might drop him or somehow lose him. Finally, she said, "Sure," and she opened up her arms for the baby boy.

Lily showed her how to carry him, and they smiled and laughed and talked together, almost as if the past few years had not even happened.

Mae held the boy close to her heart as he slept and glanced down at him. He was adorable. Someday, she hoped to have a child of her own.

At that thought, she glanced up at Remus and smiled sadly. Would he want to stay with her that long? He had told her that he loved her, but would he still love her after the war?

She looked more closely as the three friends conversed. The atmosphere between them was a bit muddled and thick, but they could still talk as friends.

Focusing on Sirius, she wondered if he would ever have children of his own. He was very protective of them, and he could definitely act like one enough. Would he be a good father?

Mae looked down at the boy again. "What's his name?" she asked quietly.

"Harry."


	7. Can't Fall Asleep

**Chapter 7 – Can't Fall Asleep**

Sirius had fallen asleep with Harry in his arms on the sofa when Mae and Remus were leaving Lily and James's house. After giving Lily, James, and Peter all hugs and kissing both Sirius and Harry on the head, Mae was leading her boyfriend to the door.

It was as the cool, night air hit her fragile form that she realized she had left her clock in the living room, and she said, "Go on, Remus. I'll be outside in a minute."

Lily, James, and Peter had returned to the kitchen, where they spoke in hushed, almost-agitated voices. Attracted by their noise, she stopped in the shadows by the doorway and listened, her eyes focused on Sirius's sleeping form not far away.

"When will the Fidelius Charm be performed? Have you decided on a Secret-Keeper yet?" asked Peter.

"We want it to be Sirius," James said seriously, "but he is hesitant. He thinks that Voldemort will come after him."

He agreed, "I'm sure that he would. It's just something You-Know-Who would do."

"But how can you three all believe that Remus is the traitor?" snapped Lily.

"I don't—" began her husband until she cut him off.

"Oh, yes, you do! Don't you dare deny it. You have for a while now. It's disgusting that you can think that and still act like a friend to him. That's even worse than ignoring him."

"How can you _not_ think so?" Peter squeaked.

"I don't think it's any of us!" she returned. "There are people outside the Marauders that know about us if you haven't noticed. It doesn't have to be one of us! It could be a number of other people in the Order!"

"There aren't a number of other people in the Order than have intimate relationship with all of us," reminded James.

"But there are a few. Why are you four so set on it being one of us?"

Neither James nor Peter answered her.

Finally, Peter spoke. "You've noticed how strange Remus has been acting, haven't you, Lily? We're all a little worried about him. It's been nearly two months since Mae and Hiro came back here. It's taken a very long time just for them to see you two. Remus has gotten a lot better since she came back, but he's still acting weird."

"She's the help he's needed for a long time," insisted Lily.

"Yes, but she also makes him vulnerable," reasoned James. "If he has joined the Death Eaters, which I am hesitant to say that he has, then there's no way out, even if he has Mae now."

"Listen, Peter," Lily said quietly so that Mae had to strain to hear her, "there's something we haven't told you about. You see, there was a prophecy not very long ago. We've spoken to Dumbledore and Sirius about it. It says that either our son or Frank and Alice's will have to destroy Voldemort. It's confusing, and we don't really understand it. But that's why Dumbledore wants us to hide."

"Oh, Merlin!" murmured Peter in fright and amazement. "That's horrible! When will the Fidelius Charm be performed?" he insisted.

The couple glanced between each other and sighed.

"We don't know. We haven't decided yet, but, as soon as we figure out who the Secret-Keeper will be, it'll happen," Lily explained.

Shocked by this discovery, Mae grabbed her jacket off a chair and headed back toward the door. Outside, where Remus was waiting for her, it was beginning to sprinkle… which quickly turned into a downpour of water droplets, soaking both to the core. Hurriedly, they Apparated to Remus's apartment, which had become their home as well as Hiro's.

Hiro was awaiting their arrival when they entered. Over the period that the two Japanese people had spent in Britain, Hiro had begun learning English, and he and Remus had become rather close friends.

While staying at Remus's apartment, Hiro had taken to sleeping on the sofa in the living room, and Mae and Remus slept in the one bed. After a brief chat, they went their separate ways to their beds and tried to fall asleep.

But Mae couldn't fall asleep. Her mind was still back on the conversation in the Potters' house.

She felt better that she wasn't the only person that didn't think that Remus was the traitor. Lily was just as reasonable as she had been at Hogwarts. It was one of the main things she had missed while in Japan.

What scared her about the conversation, though, was that the guys still thought that it was Remus. They could all pretend to be friends in the presence of the ladies and the baby, but inside they were suspicious and scared and devious. Nothing seemed to change their minds—and nothing would until some form of proof came forward if it did.

In the meanwhile, she would just have to wait. If they didn't believe in Remus now, they wouldn't for a while. But she had an uncanny feeling that something was going to go wrong soon.

There was something strange about the first time she had seen Peter, too. It had been bugging her for a while, even if she had no way to articulate it properly. But she had a feeling that what she had first thought of it was wrong. There was something more to why he had even been there in Knockturn Alley. She also couldn't recall a time when he had spoken to Sirius and Remus about it like he had told her he would. Did he think that she would forget about it? If so, he had thought wrong.

With a frustrated sigh, she turned over and finally allowed herself to fall to sleep.


	8. Cursing and Swearing

**Chapter 8 – Cursing and Swearing**

Mae, Remus, and Hiro spent their days together most of the time. Remus seemed to be the only one that went anywhere, unless he was taking the other two to Lily and James's house.

Remus seemed to be getting more and more frustrated as the days passed. The heavy weight of disloyalty and fear pressed on him, and he began to feel an unnecessary guilt—a guilt that his friends were pushing down on him. He was letting their thoughts get to him, even if he knew them to be false.

No one really knew who the leak was, but almost everyone close to the Marauders assumed it to be Remus. It was something that a man such as he could barely handle. He had already felt pressured because of his furry little problem—so much that he almost immediately succumbed to his friends' will.

It was a simple idea, but Mae believed it to be true: They believed him to be the leak, so he quickly adjusted into habits that could easily be accepted as some things a leak might do.

Not wanting him to feel guilty, she tried to approach him on the issue several times, but he merely pushed her away. In her frustration, she ignored him, which he took to mean that she, too, believed him to be guilty. Everything went completely downhill from there.

The only people that Mae talked to were Hiro and Lily. She didn't wish to associate with the others as she despised the fact that they suspected Remus, and her frustration stopped her from confronting Remus on any issue.

But it didn't take very long for her to grow tired of that constant avoidance. She decided that she would attempt another conversation with her beloved before yelling and screaming at him.

"Please, Remus, don't give up hope," she said, taking his hand in hers and holding it close to her chest.

They stood alone in the small kitchen of Remus's apartment. Hiro had gone to a Muggle store with enough Euros from Remus to buy the necessary supplies—he had done so at a time aligned with Mae's plans. He was doing anything to help her in her relationship with her friends, even with her lover.

Remus untangled his hand and drew away from her. "I'm sorry, Mae, but I already have. I just wish that I could find the real leak before trying to convince them myself. You really don't have to help me, Mae. I can do this."

Alas, her frustration boiled over and she took to yelling. "Damn it, Remus! Don't lie!"

"I'm not lying," he retaliated. "I'm telling the truth. I'm fine with this."

"No, you're not."

"All right, so maybe I'm not. But what other choice do I have? None of them would believe me anyway. Why not just go along until I _can_ prove myself?"

"You shouldn't _have_ to prove yourself! They're supposed to be your friends. Tell them that, for Shiva's sake! If they don't understand, they don't deserve you."

"I can't!" he yelled in an equally loud voice. "I don't have the willpower."

"Don't act weak because _they_ think you're weak. You're better than this, dammit, and you know it. Don't you dare lie about that. Don't give up!"

"I'll give up if I want to."

"But you don't want to!" she tried to reason.

He glared down at her. "Since when did you know me so well?" he snapped. "We've been out of touch for three and a half years—not to mention the fact that we didn't even know each other that well before you left."

"We got back in touch almost nine months ago!" she screamed. "And don't you dare throw that 'you left me' crap in my face. It was you or my father, and my father most definitely needed me more. He deserved it more, too—especially with the way you're acting now. You never could accept the fact that I left you, could you, Remus?"

His narrowed eyes never left her wide, sad ones while he said in a low whisper, "Speaking of leaving, please do so."

She was shocked but not completely surprised. "Curse you, Remus Lupin," she said angrily, and she stormed out of the apartment.

After slamming the door shut behind her, she leaned up against it for support as all her anger and resentment fell away from grief and fear. She slid slowly down the wooden door and commenced sobbing just as she reached the floor.

Another man passed her as he made his way to his own apartment, sending her a strange glance before continuing on as if he hadn't seen anything.

Hiro returned ten minutes later and dropped the shopping bags at the top of the stairs. "Mae!" he called, and began speaking to her in Japanese. "What happened? Are you all right? What was his reaction?"

When he came close enough, she flung herself at him and hugged him as if life depended upon it. "Oh, Hiro, thank you for coming," she murmured in their first language. "Thank you so much. I don't think I'd be able to handle it out here alone another minute. It was so horrible."

"What happened?" he persisted.

"He has completely given up hope. He told me to leave after I countered him on the fact that he's still angry about four years ago."

"That's—"

"Promise me, Hiro," she interrupted. "Please promise me that you'll never tell me to go away."

"Of course, I won't. I couldn't bear it. You're my best friend, Mae. I don't think I'd be able to stand a week without you. I don't know how I did it before we met."

She smiled through her tears. "Thank you."

"I swear I'll always stay with you and protect you. No matter what else happens, I'll always be here for you. I'll always be by your side."

"Don't say that," she said quietly.

"Why not?" he asked curiously.

"That's what _he_ said… that's what he said before he told me…"

"Don't speak about it if it's too painful. But I'll say it anyway. Whether he said it and meant it or not, I am saying it and I do mean it. Mae, you won't be able to get rid of me."

She laughed. "Thank you, Hiro. You're the best friend that I could ever ask for."


	9. Secret Keeper

**Chapter 9 – Secret-Keeper**

"Thank you again, Hiro," Mae said quietly, still clutching his forearm. "I don't think I'd be able to do this on my own." She knocked twice on the door in front of her and waited.

A moment later, the door swung slowly open, revealing a tired Sirius to the dark night. "Huh? Mae? Hiro? Why are you here so late?"

She hesitated and then said, "Remus threw me out."

"What? Why?" he asked and allowed them entry, closing the door behind them like a gentleman.

Mae didn't say anything until she had sat down on his reclining chair. "I yelled at him."

He still looked confused. "Why?" he repeated, bewilderment quite evident in his voice.

"Because of you and James and Peter."

"What about us?"

"You guys and your stupid accusations!"

"Mae," he reasoned, "we wouldn't make those accusations if they weren't well-founded."

"Well, I have some different yet also well-founded accusations to make."

"Against whom? Me?"

She didn't answer. She looked to Hiro for support and, when he nodded to her, she said, "Has the Fidelius Charm been performed yet?"

Although apprehensive, Sirius answered, "Yes. Just this evening. Tomorrow is All Hallows Eve, and we suspect that Voldemort might do some Muggle raids. We want to make sure Lily and James and Harry are safe."

"Are you the Secret-Keeper, Sirius?" she asked him levelly.

"Yes," he responded, but she couldn't tell if he was lying or not.

Finally, she believed him. Mae breathed a sigh of relief. "Good."

He knitted his brow. "What do you mean?"

"As long as it's not Peter."

"What do you mean?" he repeated more urgently.

"I think that Peter Pettigrew is the leak," she replied seriously.

He laughed.

"And what in Vishnu's name is funny about that?!" she exclaimed angrily.

"Peter couldn't be a Death Eater if he tried," he responded with continued laughter. "He'd wet his pants."

"How do you know that?" snapped Mae. "Have you not noticed the changes in him from Hogwarts?"

"Everybody changes, Mae. You were gone for a long time. You didn't witness or experience the same changes."

"But I changed as well—and I learned some choice words for a situation like this. This really is bollocks, Sirius, and you know it. I think that it just made it more obvious to me because I was gone for so long."

"How does that make sense?" he asked her, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

She groaned. "I might not have said it in a very understandable way, but it does make sense."

He shrugged. "If you say so."

"I do say so, dammit!"

"'Choice' words, right?" he laughed, but his laugh was hollowed by the war and the depth of the conversation.

"But, seriously, have you not noticed? How can you seriously know that he couldn't be a Death Eater? Have you tested him?"

Sirius sobered at that slightly. "What? No! You don't _test_ your friends."

"Aren't you a hypocrite?" she said with a devious smirk about her face. "How can you say that about Peter but not Remus? Is he no longer your friend?"

"I didn't mean it like that, and you know it, Mae."

"Whether you meant it to or not, it sure did sound like that," she countered. "Why would I know that anyway? After all, it's not like I really know any of you anymore, is it?"

A scowl engulfed his face. "Would either of you like anything to drink?" he asked stiffly, moving slightly toward the kitchen.

But Hiro was quicker. He walked away from the wall against which he had been leaning and offered to get them drinks himself. And, before Sirius could say a word against it, he had walked away into the kitchen.

"Why don't you ever call me 'Yoko' anymore, Sirius?" asked Mae, gathering his attention again.

His head turned back to her, and he shrugged almost nervously. "I don't know. We're not as close as we were then," he responded quietly.

She huffed. "That seems to be happening a lot lately. Maybe I never should have come back. Nothing is how it used to be. And apparently I'm the only one who wants it to be how it used to be."

"Then, you wouldn't have Hiro," he reminded her.

"He's the only thing that's keeping me sane here."

Hiro, then, brought out three glasses of the only thing Sirius had had in his magically run refrigerator, orange juice from concentrate. He handed them each one, keeping one for himself, and sat down on the couch near Mae.

"You know, I've been thinking," continued Mae as she slowly sipped her juice.

"What about?"

"You're completely right, Sirius."

"I am?" he asked, confusion taking over his face and voice.

"Yes. I don't belong here anymore. I might as well leave Britain. My world is centered around the people I love—but most of those people don't really exist anymore. Maybe if I had stayed here and convinced my father to remain in England, maybe I would still be friends with you; maybe Remus and I would be able to trust each other completely and love each other unhindered; maybe I would have a family like Lily and James.

"But, the thing is, I _did_ leave. Now that I've come back, nothing is the same. I don't like this new world. It's strange and horrible, despite the wonderful people that still remain."

She stood up with a new look of determination and resignation shining in her eyes and thrust the glass of juice into Sirius's hands. "Thank you for your time, Sirius," she continued in a businesslike voice, "but we're leaving now. I might not see you again, because I've just decided that I'm returning to Japan with Hiro, if he will come with me."

She looked to her friend, who nodded his assent, before carrying on to Sirius. "Tell Remus goodbye for me. I don't want to talk to him after what he said to me earlier. We're going to make a short visit tonight before leaving in the morning. Goodbye, Sirius."

So shocked was he that he made no move to stop her from leaving, and, just too quickly, she and Hiro were gone from sight. She could barely hear him say, "Bye, Yoko," into the cold night.

From Mae's position at the end of his driveway, she could still see his light on through the darkness. "Come on, Hiro," she said, reverting to her first language. "There's someone I need to go see before we leave in the morning."


	10. No Hope Left

**Chapter 10 – No Hope Left**

Mae and Hiro reached their destination a short while after leaving Sirius's house and snuck down into the hideout. There was no one there, so they sat down at the table, waiting for him.

When he finally Apparated into his home, he walked around in darkness for a short while before lighting the room with a quick word and a swish of his wand. Then, he saw them and started. "W-what are you two doing here?" he stuttered.

"Hello, Peter," Mae said calmly. "We came to talk to you. Where have you been? We've been waiting for a short while."

"I was… out."

"That was obvious," Hiro commented quietly.

"We realized that," she continued a little bit louder. "Please have a seat." When he had done so, she spoke again. "I need to ask you several questions. First of all, are you the leak?"

"What?!" he exclaimed, jumping to his feet in outrage. "What is that supposed to mean?!"

"You tell me, Peter. I was talking to Sirius a little less than an hour ago and he convinced me of something."

"What was that?" he asked meekly.

"I convinced me that everything has changed since I was here. I must admit that it has. When I was here before, we were rather good friends, no? Well, at least I believe we were.

"But now that I'm here and everything's different, I'm afraid that you're one of those things that has changed. You're not the same person that you were before—none of us are, of course. But you've changed in a horrible way, haven't you?"

"Where did you get that idea?" he asked, fear very evident in his eyes.

Mae stood up and stalked toward him. "You see, I care very deeply for my friends, and I don't like it when someone else gets blamed for another's mistake. I don't care how it happened. I care about how it stops happening. I want this over, and I want it over now.

"I know you can't get out of Voldemort's power safely. That's why I came here to offer you asylum—but it's only if you come with me right now to Albus Dumbledore. I'm sure it'll take a while, but they'll forgive you eventually."

"I'm not the leak," insisted Peter, but he was shrinking under her strong form.

"You know, it's funny. That's what everyone's been saying, but one of them has to be lying."

"It's Remus! I'm telling you it's Remus!"

"I know Remus far better than that, even if things have changed from Hogwarts. He wouldn't betray his friends—he'd die before that. Even when he was the lowest of the low, he was loyal. He actually cares."

"How do you know I don't?!" he cried.

"Peter, just because you were in Gryffindor, that doesn't make you strong. You can be brave and weak at the same time. That doesn't mean that there isn't a refuge from that. There is a refuge if you come with me. _Please_ come with me!"

"You shouldn't have come here," he half-yelled. "It's dangerous. There are people that know about this place that shouldn't."

"You're talking about myself there, aren't you?" she said with a small laugh.

Hiro was about to say something when he was cut off by a new voice. "What is this, Wormtail?" It was a dark, dangerous voice—almost reptilian.

Mae turned to see the new person and immediately regretted it. Although she had never seen him before, she immediately recognized him as Lord Voldemort. At the words that he issued next, she almost screamed.

"Wormtail, dispose of them," ordered Voldemort.

Peter held up a shaking hand and tried to speak a proper spell. His eyes looked almost-apologetic as she looked back to him. His wand was pointed toward her and Hiro, but she was too distraught and scared to really realize what was happening until it had already happened. "_Avada Kadavra_," he finally squeaked.

Mae screamed.

Remus received the letter via owl on the morning before All Hallows Eve. The letter was short and written in Sirius's sloppy handwriting, but even it was messy even for him. It appeared urgent—but the message actually _was_ urgent.

He arrived at Sirius's house two hours before noon and was allowed entry without mishap. Immediately, he berated his so-called friend with questions and queries about the vague letter.

"What do you mean by 'she's gone'? Where did she go?" he asked, dreading the answers.

Sirius slowly leaned against his kitchen counter. "I mean that she's really gone. Yoko left. She came to me last night with Hiro. She decided that she was returning to Japan today, and Hiro agreed to go with her."

"Why didn't you stop her?"

"Why didn't _you_?" countered Sirius.

"Dammit, Sirius, I was angry. I didn't mean to push her away."

"Why have you been so angry lately?" he asked suspiciously.

Remus glared at him. "You're one to talk. You're the one that's making me angry."

"What have I done that could possibly make you this damn angry?"

"You don't deserve to even ask that question. You're the cause."

"How?"

"Just how you're looking at me now. Dammit, I'm not the leak!"

"How would I know that? And why should I believe you anyway? You've been acting strange in the last year, and that's a little less than the amount of time that the leak has been giving away information to Voldemort. It's rather easy to put two and two together."

"Maybe you weren't looking very closely when you were adding that up. Did it even cross your mind that it might have something to do with Mae?!"

"Of course it did. I'm not an idiot, Remus."

"Could've fooled me."

Sirius ground his teeth and scowled, but didn't say anything. "Well," he said finally, "she's probably gone by now. There's nothing we can do to change that."

Remus groaned and leaned over the sink. "I can't believe that I did that. How could I be so damn _stupid_?!" He had begun speaking in a calm, slow voice, until it finally became a yell. On the last word, he pushed away form the counter and kicked the cupboards underneath the sink.

"Careful," cautioned Sirius.

He sent him a glare but otherwise ignored the comment.

They stood in silence for almost five minutes before Sirius finally moved toward his refrigerator to get himself a drink. He pulled out two bottles of Butterbeer, uncapped them both, and handed one to Remus.

"Thanks," he said slowly before drinking from it heartily. "I need this—definitely. I missed her so much, and then I decided that it was too dangerous. Now I realize that I don't want to be without her. I love her, Sirius."

"Well, you're a little late now. I really think you've ruined it this time."

Remus gave an empty laugh. "Yeah, I really did, didn't I?"

"She said something that caught my attention when they were here last night. She said that she thought Peter was the leak."

He sent Sirius a confused and disbelieving look. "Peter could never be the leak. It's going to be you or me, if is one of us."

Sirius nodded in agreement. "I know. I have no idea where she got that idea from. She wouldn't explain it any further—well, at least not in ways that I understood what she was saying anyway. She was almost speaking in riddles. Hiro seemed to understand her reasoning, though. I don't get it."

"Neither do I. I think she mentioned something like that before… a long time ago."

"Hmm."

Remus drained the bottle and rinsed it out, causing Sirius to laugh. "What?" he asked, glancing back.

"You still do that?" he asked. "You're so particular."

"That's funny?"

"No," he sighed. "It's just that we really haven't seen each other in a long while. Do we even know each other now?"

"Not really. Not anymore." He set the bottle down on the counter and turned back to Sirius. "Well, let's get one thing straight right now."

"What's that?"

"We can't trust each other anymore."

"That's for sure."

"Which means that we can't agree on anything properly. We can't really consider each other friends as we are now."

"I know."

"So I guess we're at an impasse."

"Guess so."

"I don't want to fight you on this, Sirius. I wish we could be friends, but that's hopeless. I'm giving up on this war. It'll end badly, I'm sure."

"How do you know that?" Sirius asked suspiciously.

Remus smiled. "See?" he responded, waving his hand between them. "Thank you for everything, but I just have a bad feeling about this." He moved through the living room toward the front door, Sirius not far behind him. He opened it and then glanced back toward him, saying, "If anything bad happens to Lily and James, I'm blaming you. You are the Secret-Keeper, after all."

"That's fair," nodded Sirius.


	11. All Wrong Yet All Right

**Chapter 11 – All Wrong Yet All Right**

When Mae finally reached her destination, she was sobbing and hysterical. She had just watched her only remaining friend die.

Albus Dumbledore was there with several other members of the Order of the Phoenix. They started at the sound of the slamming door and looked to her bent figure low to the floor.

"Mae!" one of them called.

So distraught, she could barely tell who they were. She forced her eyes open and looked up at the face of Dumbledore. "Professor," she said quietly.

"Nonsense, Mae," he said in a hushed voice, "I am no longer your professor."

"Professor, no! They killed him. They killed Hiro!"

"By Merlin, what happened?!" one of the others called.

"Not here," Dumbledore said and bid the others carry her to the kitchen.

Despite their protests, they did so, and soon she was sitting in a chair with two men on other side of her and Dumbledore across from her. They sat in silence for a while, Mae afraid to talk for fear of losing herself in the horrors, Dumbledore not wanting to pry.

The man on her right finally succumbed to his eagerness and exclaimed, "Oh, for goodness' sake! Are we going to get this over with or not?!"

"Please remain calm in her presence," said Dumbledore. "She needs to feel comfortable with her surroundings before she can tell us anything. She has not been a member of the Order for very long nor spent much time in this place. Be patient."

Mae looked up at Dumbledore with pleading eyes, not wanting to say anything while the other men were there. He seemed to understand because he sent them away, and then he looked at her expectantly, knowing that she would speak to him now.

She explained all that she could remember of what happened after she and Hiro left Sirius's apartment: the arrival at the house of the suspected leak; his entrance; what she remembered of their argument; the arrival of Voldemort; Hiro's death; and then the torture Voldemort put her through. "…And then he said to me, 'You will be a messenger, Mae Yokozuna. You will carry this to Albus Dumbledore, and you will dangle it in front of his face. I will be laughing when he has heard these words, for I will know. I will not know where you are, but I will know when you tell him.'"

Dumbledore appeared puzzled by these words or perhaps it was something else she had said. He, then, said seriously, "You remember nothing of who the leak was?"

She hesitated. "I—I know that I _do_ know, but it refuses to come to me. I cannot even remember who I suspected. I do not remember most of my conversations with Remus, and Sirius, and Peter, and Lily and James. I just _can't_ remember. Why does it elude me so, Professor?"

He nodded slowly. "Your memory has been tampered with, Mae. He will not tell me who the leak is. It is too important to him. He is trying to tempt me with your knowledge and yet lack of knowledge. Something very dangerous and very horrible will be happening soon."

"How do you know?" asked she, her eyes dark and sad.

"It is his way to do such things with such dramatics," he responded slowly. "It may perhaps be happening to you, though, Mae. I think now would be a good time for you to go into hiding. You will be in danger, even if you return to Japan now."

She nodded slowly. "I will do what I can, sir. Just tell me what to do."

Sirius felt bad about lying to everyone. When they had all asked or implied that he was the Secret-Keeper, he never corrected them or even hinted that it wasn't him in the first place. But it was too late to change any of that, and in a little while he would be late.

When he reached Peter's house for a short conversation, possibly about what Mae had said the night before, he was five minutes late. No one answered his knocking. Curious and a little frightened, he opened the door, expecting a helpless Peter tied up or even dead.

But the house was eerily clean. All the lights were out. He checked the whole house, but not a soul was there. There weren't even signs of a struggle. Everything there just felt so damn wrong. He knew that Peter wouldn't leave without a reason.

And then it hit him. Perhaps Mae had been right all along. Perhaps it was Peter that was the leak. Oh, Merlin! And what would that mean? What would happen if he was the leak?

Sirius sped to Lily and James's house on his flying motorcycle. He could see the flames even before he reached Godric's Hollow. Hagrid was there with a baby in his arms. Lily and James were dead and crumpled in the cinders. But it was strange—no Dark Mark was hanging in the air.

Tears were already in his eyes, messing up his vision, and his face was already pale as a ghost when he touched down on the ground. He let the motorbike drop to the ground, not bothering to put up the kickstand. He was too worried about Lily and James and Harry. He rushed to the side of the burning building, allowing the tears to flow freely down his face.

At the site of him, Hagrid moved closer, trying to comfort him. The baby was sobbing in his arms—almost as much as Sirius was but not quite as much.

As he was kneeling there, he came to a conclusion. Mae had been right. She had been correct in her reasoning. It had been Peter that had been weak. And now she was gone off to Japan, and he couldn't even tell her that she was right. Every single thing she had said—it was all right.

But Peter had to be somewhere. He had to find him. He had to track that bastard down and kill him.

However, he couldn't let rage take over him. He had to think about his godson. He had to think about poor Harry, without any parents left to care for him. Sirius was all that Harry had now.

He turned to Hagrid then, begging him, "Give Harry to me, Hagrid. I'm his godfather. I'll look after him."

The half-giant hesitated then. "Can't, Sirius. Sorry, but Dumbledore says he's gotta go ter his aunt an' uncle's."

Sirius tried to argue, but it was only half-heartedly. He wouldn't have been able to catch Peter if he was carrying a baby. Besides, there were still plenty of Death Eaters that would be quite happy if they could kill either of them at that moment. It was too dangerous. So he gave up, asking to just hold him for a moment before Hagrid left with him.

Hagrid obliged and placed the adorable little boy in his arms. It was then that he realized a lightning bolt-shaped scar on the baby's forehead. The baby calmed a little in his arms and looked up at him with Lily's emerald eyes.

With a small sigh of sorrow and resignation, he returned the baby to Hagrid's awaiting arms. "Here, take my motorcycle," he said, motioning back to the bike on the ground. He moved to it and righted it, gesturing for Hagrid to come toward it. "It'll get you there faster. I won't need it anymore."

Hagrid seemed confused by that, but he took it anyway, thanking him.

And Sirius watched sadly as they flew up into the sky toward Lily's retched sister and her husband, and he knew that Harry would never be happy there, but he also knew that that was just how things had to be… for the time being. In his own time, he would search out that foul Peter Pettigrew, his one-time friend, and kill him.

But Fate had a different thing planned.

The _Daily Prophet_'s main article was over something almost as horrible as Voldemort—or so Remus thought. Sirius Black had been apprehended for the murder of thirteen Muggles and one wizard, Peter Pettigrew. So it had been Sirius, after all, and Mae's reasoning was all wrong. Peter never could have done it. He was too weak.

But what scared him most was the story below the main one. It was about an attack by infuriated Death Eaters. When they learned of the Dark Lord's demise, they started blowing things up.

Few had survived the attack, and one of the survivors had listed off people they had known to be in the building. One of the people had spoken of an oriental girl with a sad face. With the help of several other survivors, he had identified it as one Mae Yokozuna.

So she was dead. There was nothing left to it. The love of his life was dead, and he didn't even get to apologize or tell her that he really did love her.

And he would regret it for the rest of his life.


End file.
